More than a Conqueror, Loved by the King

So, I just came back from a One and a half day trip to the southernmost tip of Taiwan, Kenting. I had the most amazing time there. I feel so recharged and refreshed. Somehow, whenever I am connecting with nature, I am reminded of how insignificant I am as a being and how Awesome our God is.

Bai Sha Wan in Kenting

I really feel that God wants me to blog about this and share my reflections from this trip.

Growing up, I messed up quite a fair bit. From time to time, I would remind my friends that I am quite a messed up person. The world taught me to live by its standards. To be someone of importance, one would have to get really good grades, get a high paying job, appear to be happy (when you're actually empty), live a life of pretence and pretend to be nice to people and live up to ALL the expectations placed on you. My confidence was established on what people praised me for. The 'perfect daughter', the 'responsible prefect', 'the obedient student'... Yeah, I held out for awhile. But these standards soon drove me up the wall. (If you wanna know more, it's in this post.)

Because of me chasing the world's standards, God was not even a part of my life. 

I remember how hard I had to fight to get the chance to breakout of the Singapore Education system. (Until this day, my boarding mistress Mrs Campbell still remembers how my Dad was so against sending me to boarding and she brings it up during the annual Dinner gathering.) It was a God given opportunity to actually find myself in Perth. Who I was as a person, What I actually believed in. Without people or educators placing their expectations on me. It was a process and it didn't happen overnight for me to learn - living by the world's standards was actually a one way ticket for doom or depression. 

As I had to fight so hard for the opportunity to complete Year 11 & 12 in Australia, I knew I had to do well to prove my dad and all the other people who had the mindset that 'people who were sent overseas couldn't study'. I don't ever remember working or studying so hard before. I once got back my results for my English assignment and it was not up to my standards. I remembered how upset and angry (with myself) I felt on the inside. I went out to the School oval and I laid on the grass watching the blue skies. It got me thinking, compared to the vastness of the land, or the blue skies, I was just an insignificant being. I realised my problems were actually so small and sometimes even irrelevant. But the bible verse Matthew 6:26 came to mind. "Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value then they?"

Somehow God just uses nature to speak to me and provide the comfort that I need. Reminding me He has got me covered and that I am loved regardless of my achievements. It didn't matter how smart I was or how I pretty I looked...  There and then, I realised that I did not have to rely on my own strength to meet all these 'worldly standards'. These 'worldly standards' proved to be insignificant in the years to come when I completely surrendered myself to the Lord and trusted His provision for the challenges that I may face. period. 

Stars we saw that night captured with a Digital Camera

We went star gazing at night in Kenting and once again I was blown away by the magnificent sight. My heart was full and simply filled with joy as the Lord reminded me of whatever I have shared, how much I have grown as His child and how HE loves us so much even when we fail time and again. My confidence and self worth is no longer defined by people's praises, but in Christ. We saw shooting stars in the sky. I saw 2 actually. The most common question - Did you make a wish, what did you wish for? My answer to that would be. No, I didn't because I am blessed. I trust that God will provide everything I need, when I need it. 

Today's sermon was how the only standards we should live by is God's standards and it's found in His word - the Bible. When we use human standards to measure or place our expectations on someone else, it creates unhappiness, unnecessary stress and sometimes even anger. (true story; been there, done that) As Christians, we should learn to be more like Christ and love people like how HE loves us. It's not gonna be easy, but with God's help, anything is possible. 

Romans 8:37 

No, in all these things, we are more than conquerors through him who loves us. 

God's love & blessings~

Xoxo

Marissa