The expectant heart & more... (TP test experience)
Hey guys! Guess what? I have finally gotten my driving license after 4 attempts! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
I have to admit, after each failure, I was exhausted and tired, feeling like I'm not good enough. Failing is never a good feeling. I was on the verge of wanting to ask God "Why did you let me fail?" but I painfully forced myself to ask Him "What do you want me to learn from this?" as prompted by all my daily devotions.
Through the whole process of it, I witness how God is using it to help me grow in Him. In a nutshell, this is what I felt I learnt through my driving test experiences.
1st attempt - Forgiveness of self
2nd attempt - Humility
3rd attempt - Perseverance
4th attempt - Complete surrender & an expectant heart.
For those wondering, I took my test at the Ubi test centre and had private driving lessons.
My first attempt was with my previous driving instructor. He was going for an operation then and will cease to teach after a certain date. I felt really stressed having to perfect the skill of driving in that time frame so that I wouldn't have to go thru the trouble of finding someone else to teach me. During the test, i made so many mistakes. I struggled to do the parallel parking. Obviously, I failed. With 36 points I think. You need points of less than 20 to pass. So I was angry at myself for quite awhile as the scene during the test kept replaying in my head. That's when the realisation hit me that the forgiving yourself is so much harder than forgiving other people. Well, for me at least because I keep replaying the scene of failure in my head and putting myself down for it. This was an area where God pointed out to me to work on. I'm usually so much harder on myself as compared to other people.
My second attempt, I was assigned a Loud, Demanding, Indecisive tester. I was seriously shouted at for all the little mistakes I did. Driving slow in circuit to ensure safety, got scolded for it. Missed the turn due to his last minute instruction, got shouted at. That 40 minutes or so in the car was really painful. I had to bear with his unreasonable antics while trying to focus on my test and doing my best to hold my tongue and not talk back to him. Unfortunately, I also failed this time due to parallel parking, hitting the curb while coming out of the parking lot. :( I remember hating that tester and was thinking of ways to stumble him. But looking back, maybe God wanted to remind me to be humble and to respect authority. Really wish God didn't have to use this way to teach me this lesson on humility. But then again, God is God. He knows what He is doing and His ways are higher than our ways. So, I failed with 34 points :(
My third attempt, everything was done perfectly within the circuit. I finally manage to conquer parallel parking! Whoo Hoo. I thought I had the chance to pass my test this time round. Due to other circumstances, like spending a super long time driving on the road, the tester had accumulated enough points to fail me due to entering the wrong lane and stuff like that. Driving for a long time really drained out my energy. So by the time I went on the road, my concentration wasn't there anymore and I made all the mistakes. I failed with 26 points. ( On the bright side, yay! points are slowly decreasing)
Every time I failed, it was a horrible feeling. It feels like you aren't good enough. You feel rejected. It was draining all the time. It never gets easy. After my 3rd attempt, I was so close to giving up. I was super exhausted of just trying and going for driving lessons when my time could have been put to better use. God had something else in store. He wanted me to continue trying. To persevere & not give up
My fourth attempt was different. After learning so many things from YMLC (Young Methodist Leaders' Conference) the week before, I decided to put them into practice. Spiritual hunger consists of a willing heart, an expectant heart, a determined heart and a grateful heart.
During the morning of my test, I remembered telling God that "I lay all these worries into Your hands. Remind me that regardless of the outcome, You are enough for me. I have all that I need in You." In my heart I was expecting something, expecting to pass (expectant heart). This was a different attitude I had as compared to my previous tests as I didn't intentionally pray and expect to pass. It was just a wishy-washy prayer and a 'if i pass that would be great' kinda attitude. While waiting for the tester to come get me, I was just constantly talking to God to grant me the strength and to drive safely. As time passed, there were lesser people in the room as they were called out to go for the driving test. I was just so chill, this was completely different to the other attempts.
When my tester came to get me, he did the routine stuff of checking my identity number before we walked to the car and get started. When we were in the car, it looked like it was going to rain. But the sky held up till after my test. We did almost every station in the circuit except the slope because I think we were running out of time. Even on the road, the drive was a pretty short one compared to my previous time and I manage to concentrate till the end. When we drove back to the test centre, I was replaying the whole test process in my head trying to figure out if I made any major errors to fail.
It was an anxious wait while the tester printed out my results and talked about the different mistakes I made. i.e driving too slow, speed to slow when changing lanes (in my defense, there were NO cars)
This was the key sentence I was waiting for "Anyway, work on these areas when you drive on the road. -checks the time- go watch the video! You pass!" I couldn't believe my ears! Failing 3 times and suddenly getting the good news. I was just so elated and thankful to God for helping me through the whole process. It was like an answered prayer happening right before my eyes! I passed with 18 points.
Truly couldn't have done it without God's guidance, strength and mercy. To all the people who are still trying, don't give up! Yeap, it took me 4 attempts. I am not ashamed of it. Each attempt taught me an important life lesson.
God's love & blessings~
Xoxo
Marissa
I have to admit, after each failure, I was exhausted and tired, feeling like I'm not good enough. Failing is never a good feeling. I was on the verge of wanting to ask God "Why did you let me fail?" but I painfully forced myself to ask Him "What do you want me to learn from this?" as prompted by all my daily devotions.
Through the whole process of it, I witness how God is using it to help me grow in Him. In a nutshell, this is what I felt I learnt through my driving test experiences.
1st attempt - Forgiveness of self
2nd attempt - Humility
3rd attempt - Perseverance
4th attempt - Complete surrender & an expectant heart.
For those wondering, I took my test at the Ubi test centre and had private driving lessons.
My first attempt was with my previous driving instructor. He was going for an operation then and will cease to teach after a certain date. I felt really stressed having to perfect the skill of driving in that time frame so that I wouldn't have to go thru the trouble of finding someone else to teach me. During the test, i made so many mistakes. I struggled to do the parallel parking. Obviously, I failed. With 36 points I think. You need points of less than 20 to pass. So I was angry at myself for quite awhile as the scene during the test kept replaying in my head. That's when the realisation hit me that the forgiving yourself is so much harder than forgiving other people. Well, for me at least because I keep replaying the scene of failure in my head and putting myself down for it. This was an area where God pointed out to me to work on. I'm usually so much harder on myself as compared to other people.
My second attempt, I was assigned a Loud, Demanding, Indecisive tester. I was seriously shouted at for all the little mistakes I did. Driving slow in circuit to ensure safety, got scolded for it. Missed the turn due to his last minute instruction, got shouted at. That 40 minutes or so in the car was really painful. I had to bear with his unreasonable antics while trying to focus on my test and doing my best to hold my tongue and not talk back to him. Unfortunately, I also failed this time due to parallel parking, hitting the curb while coming out of the parking lot. :( I remember hating that tester and was thinking of ways to stumble him. But looking back, maybe God wanted to remind me to be humble and to respect authority. Really wish God didn't have to use this way to teach me this lesson on humility. But then again, God is God. He knows what He is doing and His ways are higher than our ways. So, I failed with 34 points :(
My third attempt, everything was done perfectly within the circuit. I finally manage to conquer parallel parking! Whoo Hoo. I thought I had the chance to pass my test this time round. Due to other circumstances, like spending a super long time driving on the road, the tester had accumulated enough points to fail me due to entering the wrong lane and stuff like that. Driving for a long time really drained out my energy. So by the time I went on the road, my concentration wasn't there anymore and I made all the mistakes. I failed with 26 points. ( On the bright side, yay! points are slowly decreasing)
Every time I failed, it was a horrible feeling. It feels like you aren't good enough. You feel rejected. It was draining all the time. It never gets easy. After my 3rd attempt, I was so close to giving up. I was super exhausted of just trying and going for driving lessons when my time could have been put to better use. God had something else in store. He wanted me to continue trying. To persevere & not give up
My fourth attempt was different. After learning so many things from YMLC (Young Methodist Leaders' Conference) the week before, I decided to put them into practice. Spiritual hunger consists of a willing heart, an expectant heart, a determined heart and a grateful heart.
During the morning of my test, I remembered telling God that "I lay all these worries into Your hands. Remind me that regardless of the outcome, You are enough for me. I have all that I need in You." In my heart I was expecting something, expecting to pass (expectant heart). This was a different attitude I had as compared to my previous tests as I didn't intentionally pray and expect to pass. It was just a wishy-washy prayer and a 'if i pass that would be great' kinda attitude. While waiting for the tester to come get me, I was just constantly talking to God to grant me the strength and to drive safely. As time passed, there were lesser people in the room as they were called out to go for the driving test. I was just so chill, this was completely different to the other attempts.
When my tester came to get me, he did the routine stuff of checking my identity number before we walked to the car and get started. When we were in the car, it looked like it was going to rain. But the sky held up till after my test. We did almost every station in the circuit except the slope because I think we were running out of time. Even on the road, the drive was a pretty short one compared to my previous time and I manage to concentrate till the end. When we drove back to the test centre, I was replaying the whole test process in my head trying to figure out if I made any major errors to fail.
It was an anxious wait while the tester printed out my results and talked about the different mistakes I made. i.e driving too slow, speed to slow when changing lanes (in my defense, there were NO cars)
This was the key sentence I was waiting for "Anyway, work on these areas when you drive on the road. -checks the time- go watch the video! You pass!" I couldn't believe my ears! Failing 3 times and suddenly getting the good news. I was just so elated and thankful to God for helping me through the whole process. It was like an answered prayer happening right before my eyes! I passed with 18 points.
Truly couldn't have done it without God's guidance, strength and mercy. To all the people who are still trying, don't give up! Yeap, it took me 4 attempts. I am not ashamed of it. Each attempt taught me an important life lesson.
God's love & blessings~
Xoxo
Marissa
Wow, it is just great to know that you got your driving license. Many congratulation my friend!! I am also getting driving training at Port Macquarie Driving School and would apply for the driving license after completing my training. Hoping to pass my driving test in very first attempt!!
ReplyDeleteHi, I just went for TP Test today & didn't make it (26 demerit points + 2 immediate failures). Admittedly I was slightly dismayed with God with the outcome.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your learning journey & encouragement.
God Bless,
Jon
Congratulations on passing your driving test - it can be such a stressful time. Quail's School Of Motoring
ReplyDelete