Society disagrees, Passion lost & found

It has been awhile since my last post. I have so many Amazing experiences to share. I think I'm gonna suffer from verbal diarrhea. Anyway... I have just started Year 2 of university under the marketing specialisation.

My 3 months Summer holidays have been nothing less than AWESOME in my opinion though society may disagree and frown upon what I have accomplished. I felt like I accomplished so much during this period. I passed my driving test & got my license, I went to Club Med Bintan, I did the flying trapeze, I worked on my fitness by doing Kayla's Bikini Body Guide & going to the gym, I survived duties as Business Manager for the Freshmen Orientation Camp, I learnt the basics of Aerial hoop, I went to Club Med Bintan again & got the opportunity to train with the Circus team for a bit, made friends with the GOs at Club Med and had a fun time observing how people behave. 

Despite the hard work, it was very fun & rewarding as well. I miss being on the trapeze. I miss hanging upside down with the wind in my hair. It has been awhile since I found a skill/ hobby that made me feel so alive. The strong feeling of wanting to perfect it. The strong urge of wanting to keep at it and never let go. 

Many times, we let society tell us what to do. We let the voices of society pull us away from what we love and force us into things that we hardly like/love. I know because I was once a victim of that. Society's pragmatism has stumbled many, taken away the passion from our youths, restricted their creativity and forced them to solely pursue a 'cookie cutter' education that prepares them for the (ever changing, mind you) workforce. Irony is that education alone would not be enough to ever prepare our youths for the workforce. Life is getting completed. Grades alone would not be able to guarantee you staying employed.

Parents are worried of their children pursuing their very own dreams because 'their dreams won't be able to feed them'. And so, parents find it easier to nip the problem in the bud by simply telling their youth they just aren't allowed to pursue it rather than watch their children suffer in the future. Or maybe it's just my parents. I don't know.

Being the obedient child I was, I followed their wishes for me. I put aside my dreams of being a singer and focused on the 'more important things' in life. For the longest time, I felt lost. Lost without a dream, lost without passion, lost without something to work towards. I was just trudging along life each day without expecting anything. Honestly, I just wasn't excited about life altogether. It was just dull and grey not being able to hold on to my dream or work towards it openly. Eventually, my dream just died out and I just stopped singing or even touching music altogether. 

It has been awhile since I felt so alive and challenged. Ever since flying on the trapeze and attending aerial hoop classes, I actually felt happy with myself, happy to practice on the aerial hoop (lyra) despite getting blisters, happy to be able to see progress when learning new stunts. It is definitely a different feeling as compared to a life lacking a dream or a life with passion drained away. I kinda like this. Simply being so optimistic and enthusiastic about how I could actually get stronger physically and pursue aerial hoop further.

I know people may frown upon my passion, calling it a 'waste of time'. But I am not going to let this go. I don't want to let it go. I want to feel alive, I want to see progress in this area. I'm sorry if you don't feel the same way. I know for sure that I will live a life of regret should I give in to the voices of other people once again. 

This is rather strange even though I am considered a beginner in this area of aerial hoop,  I have a desire to create aerial routines to Christian music as a form of worship to the Lord. It was in my heart ever since I saw other aerial hoop performances on Youtube. If it is really God's will for me to pursue this to honor & glorify Him, He will make a way for me to do so. This has been my prayer for quite awhile now. For Him to reveal to me His purpose & plan for my life and if He would bless me should I choose to hang on to this passion. 

This has been an update by Marissa. Just done with the first week of university! 12 more weeks to go till the end of year holiday.

God's love & blessings~

Xoxo

Marissa