What does it mean to be Contented?
For the longest time, I was struggling. Struggling with myself and the world. "What's new?" you may ask. It's almost as if there was never a time I was free from dilemmas or even struggles.
Anyway, I got back my results for my very first semester of university. For the longest time, I was pretty happy with the results I achieved. That was until I went back to school and heard about the results other people achieved. Apparently in Nanyang Business School, the average GPA was 4. Boy, I am nowhere near that. Then I felt terrible realising the fact that I was below average. This drove me into phases of disappointment, self-doubt & self-reflection. It was emotionally and psychologically draining. Unknowingly, I was trapped in the dark realm of being overly obsessive with my grades.
Through it all, God sent people to remind me that grades were not everything and I should stop comparing with others. But it took me a while to internalise and understand what they were actually saying.
Yesterday, I met up with some of my friends I made from Young Methodist Leaders' Conference (YMLC) It was an Awesome time of fellowship as we shared about our spiritual growth and updates on our lives as well. It was truly encouraging to hear how everyone was growing in their various communities. Some topics discussed such as 'What is worship?' and 'To sit at Jesus' feet' really struck me. It prompted me to think about the current situation and struggle I was facing and challenged me to realign myself to what God has in store for me. YMLC was the place where God had called me and JY to 'full time' ministry. Whenever we hang out as a group, JY and I will always be reminded by the members that we took the step of faith towards 'full time' ministry. I am really excited for JY even as he plans to go to Trinity Theological College to start on his ministry.
As for me, I have been asking God what was the 'full time' ministry He wanted me to go into. For the longest time, I felt that I didn't have a clear answer from Him. Based on my own inference, the 'full time' ministry I felt God was calling me into was through my blog - where I shared about how He is working in my life. Recently, I received a inbox message from a Primary school friend. We haven't spoken to each other for the longest time. My friend thanked me for bringing a rainbow into her life again. She was led to my blog because of the link response I share on facebook regarding an Airasia article. Moments before reading my blog, she had decided to end her life. But after reading my blog, she felt that my words were credible due to the suffering I am going through and she found the courage to live again.
I can only give God the glory for using me and my blog as a life saving instrument and an instrument for His glory. That was a huge encouragement for me. In the past, I was so afraid of what people would think of me whenever I actively blogged about my struggles and what I was going through. There was an indescribable sense of joy I experienced to know that God was using me to bless other people.
For the longest time, I was struggling with myself that I did not want to go church as I felt so drained and tired. All I felt like doing was just sleeping in. However, today I felt that I had to go to church despite my tiredness and exhaustion. I'm glad I did. I was overwhelmed with His holy presence while worshipping Him. Tears just started to flow. In today's sermon, I felt that God was speaking through the pastor, reassuring me that 'full time' ministry did not have to be restricted to being a pastor or working in a church. But it could be wherever you are.
'What is worship?' - To honor & glorify God for who He is. It is not just about the music or singing. But it is about our being and the small things that we do.
'To sit at Jesus' feet.'- To just spend time with God's word and just find rest in Him. I admit, I have to start being mindful about this.
So what does it mean to be contented? "Contentment does not come from what we have, but who we trust and worship."
Through it all, I am reminded that I should be contented for I have and what Jesus has done on the cross for me.
Check out this song that moved me to tears. Made to Worship by Chris Tomlin
Chorus:
You and I were made to worship
You and I were called to love
You and I are forgiven and free
You and I embrace surrender
when You and I chose to believe
You and I will see
Who we were meant to be
God's love & blessings~
Xoxo
Marissa
Anyway, I got back my results for my very first semester of university. For the longest time, I was pretty happy with the results I achieved. That was until I went back to school and heard about the results other people achieved. Apparently in Nanyang Business School, the average GPA was 4. Boy, I am nowhere near that. Then I felt terrible realising the fact that I was below average. This drove me into phases of disappointment, self-doubt & self-reflection. It was emotionally and psychologically draining. Unknowingly, I was trapped in the dark realm of being overly obsessive with my grades.
Through it all, God sent people to remind me that grades were not everything and I should stop comparing with others. But it took me a while to internalise and understand what they were actually saying.
Yesterday, I met up with some of my friends I made from Young Methodist Leaders' Conference (YMLC) It was an Awesome time of fellowship as we shared about our spiritual growth and updates on our lives as well. It was truly encouraging to hear how everyone was growing in their various communities. Some topics discussed such as 'What is worship?' and 'To sit at Jesus' feet' really struck me. It prompted me to think about the current situation and struggle I was facing and challenged me to realign myself to what God has in store for me. YMLC was the place where God had called me and JY to 'full time' ministry. Whenever we hang out as a group, JY and I will always be reminded by the members that we took the step of faith towards 'full time' ministry. I am really excited for JY even as he plans to go to Trinity Theological College to start on his ministry.
As for me, I have been asking God what was the 'full time' ministry He wanted me to go into. For the longest time, I felt that I didn't have a clear answer from Him. Based on my own inference, the 'full time' ministry I felt God was calling me into was through my blog - where I shared about how He is working in my life. Recently, I received a inbox message from a Primary school friend. We haven't spoken to each other for the longest time. My friend thanked me for bringing a rainbow into her life again. She was led to my blog because of the link response I share on facebook regarding an Airasia article. Moments before reading my blog, she had decided to end her life. But after reading my blog, she felt that my words were credible due to the suffering I am going through and she found the courage to live again.
I can only give God the glory for using me and my blog as a life saving instrument and an instrument for His glory. That was a huge encouragement for me. In the past, I was so afraid of what people would think of me whenever I actively blogged about my struggles and what I was going through. There was an indescribable sense of joy I experienced to know that God was using me to bless other people.
For the longest time, I was struggling with myself that I did not want to go church as I felt so drained and tired. All I felt like doing was just sleeping in. However, today I felt that I had to go to church despite my tiredness and exhaustion. I'm glad I did. I was overwhelmed with His holy presence while worshipping Him. Tears just started to flow. In today's sermon, I felt that God was speaking through the pastor, reassuring me that 'full time' ministry did not have to be restricted to being a pastor or working in a church. But it could be wherever you are.
'What is worship?' - To honor & glorify God for who He is. It is not just about the music or singing. But it is about our being and the small things that we do.
'To sit at Jesus' feet.'- To just spend time with God's word and just find rest in Him. I admit, I have to start being mindful about this.
So what does it mean to be contented? "Contentment does not come from what we have, but who we trust and worship."
Through it all, I am reminded that I should be contented for I have and what Jesus has done on the cross for me.
Check out this song that moved me to tears. Made to Worship by Chris Tomlin
You and I were made to worship
You and I were called to love
You and I are forgiven and free
You and I embrace surrender
when You and I chose to believe
You and I will see
Who we were meant to be
God's love & blessings~
Xoxo
Marissa
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