God, Why you so unfair?
Sometimes we don't understand why God allows us to go through certain situations. Other times, we think that God is so unfair. For me, personally, I did not understand why God allows me to have eczema or go through the painful episode of Topical Steroid Withdrawal (TSW). For friends who follow me on Facebook, you may have seen a progress picture of my skin 3 months into TSW, with my ankle being all red and raw. And the picture next to it was my ankle looking normal. I mean when I posted the picture, I did not think much about it.
Soon, I received a message from my primary school classmate telling me that her sister was going thru TSW and if it was okay if she connected us so that her sister could have someone to talk to and hear from someone who has been thru it and is healing. I was more than happy to help and provide comfort and advice to someone who was going through the same situation.
When people ask me what did I do to get thru the painful, hell moments of TSW. I would tell them that I honestly felt very helpless. There were moments I hated looking at myself because of the condition of my skin. I didn't recognise who I was any more. My skin was red, raw, inflamed. It went through periods of oozing and shedding. I felt hot and cold for like no reason at all. At times, when I broke down and cried questioning God and doubting Him, I am thankful for how God never ever gave up on me. God speaks thru devotion material or just by sending people to remind me of who HE is. Unchangeable, Unshakable, Unstoppable God that is in control of everything.
Soon, her sister messaged me and we started talking about TSW. I have never met her before. But when she told me what she was experiencing, I totally understand what she was going through as I have been through it myself. She asked me something along the lines of how I was able to keep my sanity through this and I told her honestly that I found comfort through my Christian faith. (I wasn't sure of her religion then. But as you know, I'm one brutally honest person - and I've vowed to be 'shameless' for Christ.)
Today, I received a text from her telling me she was warded due to a flare up of her skin and she was fighting really hard with the doctors not to use steroids. She shared that she was feeling down and was trying to get comfort from Hillsong (a christian worship band). I felt prompted to ask if I could visit and pray for her. Sensing that it was all part of God's plan.
Eventually, I did get the opportunity to visit and pray for her. I know that God is in the midst of healing her just as He has healed me. I pray that God will reveal Himself to her during this challenging period and draw her closer to Him.
It is really God's plan and time for us to connect - having the opportunity to pray and encourage her through this challenging period. I just felt immense joy and peace knowing that I was used to bless and minister to someone. I guess, I did not go through the painful process of eczema and TSW for nothing. I went through it to bring comfort, encouragement, hope to others and an opportunity to proclaim God's goodness. In my weakness, He is strong.
This song was stuck in my head throughout the day.
"Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause" was the particular phrase that really caught my attention. After today, I can say that I finally understand what these lyrics actually mean. To experience that desire and joy is simply indescribable.
When you live by faith, God takes you on an adventure. He will realign your life goals according to His and you will experience His joy & peace when you surrender yourself to Him.
God's love & blessings~
Xoxo
Marissa
Soon, I received a message from my primary school classmate telling me that her sister was going thru TSW and if it was okay if she connected us so that her sister could have someone to talk to and hear from someone who has been thru it and is healing. I was more than happy to help and provide comfort and advice to someone who was going through the same situation.
When people ask me what did I do to get thru the painful, hell moments of TSW. I would tell them that I honestly felt very helpless. There were moments I hated looking at myself because of the condition of my skin. I didn't recognise who I was any more. My skin was red, raw, inflamed. It went through periods of oozing and shedding. I felt hot and cold for like no reason at all. At times, when I broke down and cried questioning God and doubting Him, I am thankful for how God never ever gave up on me. God speaks thru devotion material or just by sending people to remind me of who HE is. Unchangeable, Unshakable, Unstoppable God that is in control of everything.
Soon, her sister messaged me and we started talking about TSW. I have never met her before. But when she told me what she was experiencing, I totally understand what she was going through as I have been through it myself. She asked me something along the lines of how I was able to keep my sanity through this and I told her honestly that I found comfort through my Christian faith. (I wasn't sure of her religion then. But as you know, I'm one brutally honest person - and I've vowed to be 'shameless' for Christ.)
Today, I received a text from her telling me she was warded due to a flare up of her skin and she was fighting really hard with the doctors not to use steroids. She shared that she was feeling down and was trying to get comfort from Hillsong (a christian worship band). I felt prompted to ask if I could visit and pray for her. Sensing that it was all part of God's plan.
Eventually, I did get the opportunity to visit and pray for her. I know that God is in the midst of healing her just as He has healed me. I pray that God will reveal Himself to her during this challenging period and draw her closer to Him.
It is really God's plan and time for us to connect - having the opportunity to pray and encourage her through this challenging period. I just felt immense joy and peace knowing that I was used to bless and minister to someone. I guess, I did not go through the painful process of eczema and TSW for nothing. I went through it to bring comfort, encouragement, hope to others and an opportunity to proclaim God's goodness. In my weakness, He is strong.
This song was stuck in my head throughout the day.
"Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause" was the particular phrase that really caught my attention. After today, I can say that I finally understand what these lyrics actually mean. To experience that desire and joy is simply indescribable.
When you live by faith, God takes you on an adventure. He will realign your life goals according to His and you will experience His joy & peace when you surrender yourself to Him.
God's love & blessings~
Xoxo
Marissa
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