Dad will be Dad

It has been 16 days since I started on my new job in the finance industry. I am learning so much! At times overwhelming but most times, exciting and fulfilling. If you asked me previously if I considered working in this industry, I would have hesitated in my response.

A seemingly innocent industry, had such a huge impact on my growing years. If genetics determined one's career, then I guess my fate is sealed. You see, Dad built a career with the banking industry. He credits the training he received as a trainee for sharpening his business acumen that serves him & his organisation well even till today. Growing up, I did not see him around much, he either worked late or was busy flying the globe. Nonetheless, he had a strong influence in our household and ran it like a corporation. He trained us to work fast and think fast in this corporate family environment. Some of the phrases I received from him includes, "No one owes you a living!", "Where's your sense of urgency?", "Don't burn bridges"... If I were to write an autobiography, "Born, Bred, Raised in a Corporate Environment" would be it's title. 

Yes, I cannot deny that it was good training making me seem more mature and efficient. But a part of me resented it. Many times wishing our family operated in a normal manner. I was getting restless and tired of hearing his stories as a banking trainee. I was tired of trying to prove myself to him, be it in taking on leadership roles in school or trying to be a good student. I just wanted to be a kid, a normal kid, without all these expectations or 'corporate standards' being imposed on me. I wanted to try things out on my own without using any connections or 'hand outs' (maybe that was my way of rebelling. A safe way that would not get me into trouble with the parents)... I am sure by now, you would have guessed that my Dad was a high achiever. It is daunting to even think of working in the same industry as him. The thought of always having to live in his shadow scares me. And it is definitely more apparent in the same industry. 

Life happened. Graduation happened. It was either entering this industry or continue being unemployed living off my parents... I ate my words and started submitting my resumé to Banks on LinkedIn. 

I did not even tell him about my application to one of the banks. Until they called me up for an interview. Honestly, he was way more excited about the job than me. Mom & I had to remind him not to get involved... Though they did not offer me the job, I believe I left an impact on them, reiterating the fact that I refused to rely on 'connections' or taking the easier way. 

I am learning to see the positive side of things and embracing the fact that my Dad is just gonna be my Dad. It was intriguing to know about my cluster posting from my dad even before I heard it from the official source. Or the name of my CM before he even called me to notify me of the swap in clusters. I guess this is the beginning of a journey of understanding Dad more. Retracing his footsteps and working in The bank would help me better understand the challenges he experienced as a trainee at a bank and why he introduced the corporate culture in our house... The best way to understand a person is being in their shoes. I have very big shoes to fill and I guess this will take time. 

The internal debate about the responsible adult thing to do and what I want to do... I'll save that for next time. 

God's love & blessings~

Xoxo

Marissa