Life as it is

I wasted my childhood building my reputation as the 'responsible one'. I am sick of being the 'responsible one' I wanna just get rid of it. Can't I ever be playful for once without getting JUDGED? Accountability and initiative is NEVER appreciated. If staying underwater for like an hour without coming up to the surface for air or like starving myself will stop people from judging me, I would gladly do it. It is so annoying. I don't know if this judgemental behaviour frequently happens only in Asian Countries. But one thing for sure, Singaporeans are less forgiving and are intolerant to things like that.


Once you relax and become a little playful, you get it. You get judged. People will start harping about your change in attitude and stuff like that. This can be scary because I can choose not to listen and after awhile, it will be a new habit for me NOT TO LISTEN AT ALL.


I really envy my friends who are carefree. Though my carefree friend claims that 'things won't go smoothly and it usually end up badly'. Well, at least they don't get told off when they wanna relax and chill. Sometimes, I really wish to be a pai kia. When they show a tiny and I mean tiny bit of initiative, they get praised to the skies. When a leader chooses to be laid back to chill and relax, they get told off by people.


My advice to younger kids: Don't try so hard to be a leader though it would look good in your résumé but it ruins your childhood which then ruins your life.